How to Choose from Our List
Picking out a pocket pussy or handheld masturbator is never easy, especially with the likes of us telling you what’s good and what’s not. Trust your own instincts, because you know your dick better than we do. In the meantime, peep these 6 short and sweet buying guidelines to help you choose the right happy ending:
- Material
Find something that actually feels real to you, not just something that’s advertised with a “realistic” material. Silicone (TPE or TPR) is your best bet, but don’t be afraid to experiment a tad. Just try to stay away from toys made from anything referred to as “jelly,” as those materials tend to be chemically laden and harsh on the genitals. OUCH!
- Texture
Texture is important, but there are literally thousands of options out there. If you allow yourself to get bogged down by the choices, you’ll never make a decision. Keep in mind that the toy’s texture, albeit pleasurable, is only a small part of the erectile equation. Start with something simple and let your dick tell YOU what it wants.
- Customizations
Not all toys are going to have a shit ton of bells and whistles for your picky dicks. You’ve got to learn how to pick your battles if you ever hope to find something that gives you a solid nut every time. Besides, if you were any good at this you wouldn’t need a myriad of customizable options, now would you?
- Endowment Issues
We know we’re only speaking to a small portion of the population here, but if you have an enormous Johnson, get the fuck off this page. No seriously, big dicked sons of bitches need love too, which is why we suggest double checking the size accommodation on every toy before you buy it. Even you skinny-cocked assholes out there: be vigilant. Some of these fall out of the “one size fits all” category. - Price
Don’t be so quick to get your panties in a wad over the price of the toy. Keep in mind that it’s designed to do the job of 4 hookers and 3 baby mamas with energy to spare. A good pocket pussy or handheld masturbating unit can open up world of opportunity for you in the bedroom (or the kitchen, or on an airplane, or in the car, or…), so don’t be a cheap ass when it comes to doing something for yourself. High-end sex toys are usually worth every penny, able to do what most skanks only dream of. - Clean Up
Some materials (especially TPE and TPR) are highly porous and need cleaned quite often, even when they haven’t been used for a while. With that said, clean up should be a breeze if the shit is designed right. Beware of toys with “cum catchers” and “nut caps” because your baby batter can get caught in the nooks and crannies. We suggest springing for some toy cleaner and a little preservation powder (if available) just to protect your investment.
The Fleshlight Quick Shot Boost – OUR RATING: 7.5/10
I think we can all agree that our post-cum cleanup obligations are for the birds. Half the appeal of some of the most popular sex toys is that they’re the perfect apparatus for quick, one-the-go nut-busting. To see the pocket pussy page to buy it follow the link.
But when you have to carry around a synthetic pussy filled with your own baby batter, things start to get weird. Wouldn’t it be nice to ejaculate without having to make a follow-up note on your to-do list? Our friends at Fleshlight have thought of everything (besides where you’re going to blow your load now that the cum catcher is missing).
Just when we start to get upset by the lack of a cure for cancer, modern science comes out with something like this – a handheld masturbation station that’s open on both ends while still carrying some of the properties of a full-sized Fleshlight. While both ends feel about the same on the dick and the opening’s tightness leaves something to be desired (especially on smaller cocks), the Quick Shot Boost certainly serves its speedy purpose.
For a toy coming in at just under $70, this toy is a worthy addition to your self-rape repertoire, even if it has a few flaws. As with any sex toy on the market, a little planning goes a long way. However, due to the Quick Shot Boost’s open-ended attitude, it tends to last quite a bit longer than its enclosed predecessors. From where we’re standing, that makes this toy an investment for the best pocket pussy.
The TENGA Deep Throat – OUR RATING: 7/10
We won’t deny that our initial excitement about the TENGA Deep Throat cup was due to its descriptive nomenclature.
We don’t know any man walking this Earth that doesn’t appreciate some good head. Unfortunately, talking someone into slobbing on your nob is often harder than it sounds. Luckily, pocket-sized blowjobs are being crafted by the thousands at your local TENGA factory, so you can go ahead and kiss that non-dick-sucking bitch of yours goodbye.
Almost like a condom flipped inside out, the sensations of the Deep Throat by TENGA is peculiar but perverse. With a lining that is thin, flexible, ribbed, and discrete, the directions say it’s only good for one use. However, the $15 price tag says you can afford it to be dispensable. P.S. That means we don’t suggest cleaning it out and enjoying it on a rainy day. These things are designed like throw-away contact lenses, and you’re not impressing anybody by being a cheap ass.
That said, these tiny masturbatory miracles are tantalizingly textured in varying patterns based on your unique tastes, and each one features a small hole on the top to mitigate the suction power. Great for solo play, they really shine when used for an incognito hand job with a willing partner (especially someone who’s not afraid to jerk you off under the table in front of your boss). For a moderately-priced, disposable sex toy, we’d say the TENGA Deep Throat is worth a second glance at least.
For details on how to use the pocket pussy visit https://www.lovense.com/sex-toy-blog/pocket-pussy
Best Pocket Pussy 